Up or Down

I was already thirty and three
When we wedded, my lover and me.
    I figured I'd miss
    My singular bliss
But knew we would live happily

He dotes on my every desire.
He'd walk thru flood or thru fire.
    But he leaves up the seat
    When he's taken a leak.
It's a flaw they've all seemed to acquire.

Nothing makes any impression.
There's no way to teach them the lesson.
    I've thought on it much,
    Disliking to touch
The seat that he's made such a mess on.

Much less to walk through the splatters.
They really think shaking it matters?
    Where does it splash
    When they've jiggled the last?
On the floor where I pitter my patters!

The concept they just will not get,
Because they infrequently sit,
    When you put the seat up
    put it down so my butt
Won't fall in and get soaking wet!

Ladies, they will miss the point.
May their own heads they anoint.
    I've done all the math,
    They need their own bath.
No matter, they'll piss the whole joint.

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