Thoughtful Visitors

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Ann Landers : Sunday, June 18 2000

Creators Syndicate
Jun 18 2000 12:00AM ET

Dear Ann Landers: I live in a retirement home, and read your column every day. Will you please print this letter as a service to those of us who live in facilities such as mine? My friends and I would like to pass on some suggestions to all the people who have contact with residents in a long-term care setting:

1. When you write to us, please include your last name and address. Our memories aren't good enough to recall your last name, or we may know three different people named Mary or John. We enjoy getting mail, however, so please write. Even a postcard is welcome.

2. When you visit, don't play guessing games and ask if we know who you are. We must deal with so many faces every day, it is hard to remember everyone.

3. Speak slowly and distinctly, and raise your voice only when necessary. Shouting in our ears makes us nervous. Get to the point of the conversation so we know what you are talking about. If we look confused, you may need to use a different phrase to help us understand.

3. Encourage us to visit with you in the lounge area. We like our rooms, but the visit will seem much more special if it is in the lounge. After all, this is our home, and we want to be gracious.

4. Please call ahead, and inquire about our meal times. It is disruptive when you arrive while we are eating and we cannot finish our food while it is still warm. We want to see you, but we need to eat on time, or we go without.

5. Please respect our privacy and that of the other residents. Don't ask us questions about others who are here. We don't want to gossip about our riends.

6. If you are not sure what to talk about during a visit, bring a news article, a picture book, a poem or old photographs to share. Of course, bringing a piece of fruit or a baked treat is welcome, too.

If we had our choice, we would rather be living in our own homes, but circumstances prevent that. Please help us make each day enjoyable. -- Residents of the New Glarus Home in Wisconsin

Dear Residents: Thank you for a fine letter. All who live in retirement homes and nursing homes will bless you for writing.

[This is so appropriate and people need to know! So let's hope it's ok that we've posted it.]